There is a heavenly blueprint for marriage that worldlings get wrong, badly, because they either do not know or understand God’s designs for the union between a man and woman and the role this union plays in enabling each person to fulfill God’s unique scroll of destiny and purpose for their lives.
How you view and practice marriage is entirely up to you, but if you think you can redefine marriage any way you like without reference to any master blueprint or design from Heaven, then you are likely to find unhappiness and woe at the end of your journey.
This isn’t about any law or mandate, only totalitarians push laws and regulations to force-feed their sociocultural constructs on even the unwilling. As for our model of marriage as a manifestation of God’s love for His people and His people’s love for Him, we need no law to force anyone into this definition and model of marriage.
Here is how the worldlings, detached from any spiritual or moral foundation, see marriage, as something of impermanence that is designed around some loose and shallow concept of personal fulfillment and happiness, and nothing more:
“There’s no longer a single script for how we do marriage,” says Susan Brown, sociologist and co-director of the National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University, in Ohio. “We get married for our own personal happiness and fulfillment, and people define that in various ways.”
As we see it, this approach to coupling is shallow anti-culture nonsense. It is craven selfishness without any depth or power that produces unhappiness and imposes severe limitations on your potential. It is born of a culture little better than primitive savages or even animalistic barbarism. We do not deny your rights to disagree here or to think we are wrong, but neither do we need to feel compelled to refrain from voicing our own convictions on this matter and to counsel a better way.
In presenting marriage as we see it we do not prevent you from doing the same.
Marriage, as we see it, is a mysety, it depicts and contains within it a fractal (as in a miniaturized exact copy of a larger whole) of the way Christ, the bridegroom, loves the church (the people of God) and the way the church as the people of God, the bride, loves Him. In a marriage ordained by God, the man loves the woman in a sacrificial way as Jesus Christ loves the church and the wife return the love as the church loves Christ.
This doesn’t mean the man is literally Christ and the woman is the husband’s servant. This is about loving and caring for one another and, through that love, doing so for others to perpetuate both the human race and a Christian witness on this earth. Marriage is a bond between a man and a woman akin to the deep spiritual bond between Christ and the church. It will bring a deeper happiness than we can ever imagine, but this is not the purpose, it is the fruit of the purpose.
The purpose is to become one flesh before God and thereby reproduce ourselves in others, including any children we have, any children we adopt, and others we nurture and help into maturity, our spiritual offspring. Just because there are artificial ways we can reproduce children doesn’t mean that the natural, organic path of a man and woman mating and producing offspring they then care for together and in union with each other isn’t an ideal that should know few exceptions.
We may struggle to match this ideal of marriage and to truly emulate this love of God or to reproduce ourselves in others both as a couple and as individuals who parent or mentor others. We may have failed in marriage and are remarried or divorced. We may have never really understood marriage as God intends it and therefore didn’t build our past or present marriage along those lines.
But even if we miss or missed the mark in marriage, there is a huge difference between striving for the golden standard and holy norm or not even trying to understand it and just using marriage as a shallow tool to perpetuate what we think of as our own pleasure and gain in a transitory and transactional relationship that is more like a negotiation than a true bond of oneness. If we were ignorant or weak or even rebellious in the past, we can seek to realign our practices of marriage in the future, there then remains hope for us.
The expression about “love is love” misses the mark. Marriage, as we understand and practice it, is a spiritual bond that can only happen between a man and woman who become one flesh and who are a fractal of Christ’s love for the church and the church’s love for Christ to reproduce themselves in others.
You are a free to disagree. You are free to pursue whatever arrangements you wish. We do not propose laws or regulations controlling your practices of what you call marriage. But as for us, a marriage that isn’t a union between a man and woman who emulate the love of God and reproduce themselves in others (even barren couples can reproduce themselves in others), isn’t the kind of marriage that pleases God, enhances your eternal soul, or will truly and deeply make you happy.
The worldlings imagine in their feverish, convoluted thinking that they can undo God’s blueprints without consequence and that they can redefine things He has defined and ordained any old way that suits their rather carnal and animalistic fancy. In rejecting marriage as God defines and intends it, we don’t merely qualify ourselves for His wrath, as if He is just waiting to lob punishments down upon us (which isn’t the case). In rejecting the heavenly blueprint for marriage we rob ourselves, we deny ourselves, and we accept a paltry substitute that cannot ever even come close to the wonder and joy true marriage as ordained by God is intended to gift to us.
Regardless of your legal right, and as lovers of freedom we would never countenance you losing your legal rights to define your life and marriage or family as you see fit, when you reject the heavenly blueprint you are cheating your own self. That in and of itself is perhaps the worse “punishment” you will receive in this world.
This isn’t about us saying you are wrong. It’s not us judging you. Judge your own self and no man can judge you. This isn’t even about being good or bad. None of us can fully, 100% live up to the heavenly blueprint. This is why Jesus died and rose again, to redeem us and to be our righteousness. We present the heavenly blueprint, as we understand it, for things like marriage and family to give you another perspective and an opportunity to find something beyond transitory pleasure. We want to see you find a path of union and contentment with God and with your fellow human beings that enlivens you and propels you toward experiencing the pure joy of following God’s scroll of destiny and purpose for your life with excellence.
We do no condemn you if you do not take the path we present, but we do present the path and we do proclaim that if your understanding and practice of marriage isn’t guided by the heavenly blueprint for marriage then it will never serve the eternal purpose for your life and for your husband or wife that God intends. It is not about being punished, it is about missing something that can only be obtained a certain way and under certain conditions.
There are many levels and degrees of happiness, pleasure, and fulfillment that one may experience in any number of couples-bonds we call marriage that are not going to get you to the place a marriage as defined by God will take you. And those things can seem and really be awesome, but for all that, they aren’t the best God has for us and there cannot be any equivalence outside of what God has ordained.
It may sound tough for us to say we do not see marriage other than as defined and ordained by God, to the best of our understanding, as truly being a marriage. But we do respect the inherent right of each person to approach and see these things as their conscience or intellect define them and we respect each person as a spiritually sovereign human being who need not answer to us any more than we must answer to them.
In presenting our faith, values, and convictions regarding marriage and God’s heavenly blueprint thereof, we do not judge or condemn others nor seek to punish them or force them into conformity with our views. But, on the other hand, neither do we feel compelled to either change our practices or to cease proclaiming God’s standards, as we understand them, or imparting the heavenly blueprint to others.
So what happens if you have been married and are remarried? What if your present marriage isn’t aligned with the heavenly blueprint but you are convinced this is truth and desire to follow it? The answer is simple: inasmuch as you can, and through seeking God’s guidance and provision, you seek to align your marriage with the heavenly blueprint. If you cannot restore your marriage and feel so inclined, you commit yourself that should God give you another opportunity at marriage, you will base that on His design and not your own understanding.
In presenting the ideal we do not claim to have met it, we claim only that we strive toward it, always, inasmuch as we know how and with dependence upon God’s grace, guidance, and provision. Whatever your past in regards to marriage or coupling, we present a possible better future, a heavenly blueprint that you can seek to pursue and that God Himself will conspire with you to fulfill in your own marriage.